20 Things You Should Know About Tweens

How much do you know about Tweens? If you’re the parent of a tween, you understand this can be a very difficult time. The tween years are sometimes an awkward time for kids and parents. The ‘tween’ age years are defined as boys and girls between the ages of 9-12. Read: How Old is a ‘Tween’?

Regardless of the age specifics, this is definitely a time that can be trying for parents and kids. So much is changing. So many boundaries, so many rules, a lot of miscommunication on what parents expect and what kids want or feel “old enough” for. The subject of clothing choices comes up a lot, of course.

That’s what I am and in between
It’s just like smallpox quarantine
I can’t do this, I can’t go there
I’m just a circle in a square
I don’t fit in anywhere
I’m too old for toys and I’m too young for boys
I’m just an in between – Judy Garland, “In-Between”

I always go back to that old Judy Garland song, “In-Between,” where she sings about being ‘a circle in a square and not fitting in anywhere.’ I guess it used to be like that more so than now, but it pretty much sums up what it feels like to be a tween.

20 Things You Should Probably Know About Tweens

1. Periods – On average, a girl will start her period at age 12. Don’t be surprised if she starts sooner than this, though. Keep her prepared and informed with a period kit.
2. Bras – By age 10, your tween is going to need her first bra. I’ve known a lot of tween girls who got their first bra at age 9, so be prepared. There are a lot of amazing first bras designed specifically for tweens.
3. Deodorant – I remember myself at age 9. Feet and armpit smell started to get real. Your tween is going to need some deodorant sooner rather than later. Personal hygiene habits will be a fun topic of discussion. No, seriously, it can actually be fun! Creating a cute little kit with pretty, feminine things will help the convo go a lot lighter. Throw in items like facial wipes, a fun deodorant like Primal Pit Paste in Jasmine, lip balm, etc.
4. Bullying – Almost half of tweens and teens are bullied by others at school and online through social media. Keep in mind not all kids are the victims of bullying, rather, they could actually be the bully. Make sure your tween understands the behavior of others is not a reflection of who she/he is, but the result of a person who does hurtful things because he/she is hurting. A national survey of more than 2,000 girls ages 8 to 17 found the majority are more worried about being teased than about natural disasters or terrorist attacks.
   Read more: Why Teens Bully
5. Tweens are keen on boyfriend/girlfriend relationships – Don’t be shocked if she casually mentions that so-and-so is her boyfriend. I personally remember my own tween years and yes, boys were on my radar. If you haven’t already had “the talk” with your tween about sex, now is definitely the time. In fact, a lot of experts say you should gradually talk about sex with your kids from age 6 and up. My niece is only 6 and she’s already noticing boys and calling them “Gorgeous”. We laughed, but her game is real.
6. Almost all tweens these days have cell phones – If she’s absolutely bugging you for a cell phone, it’s probably because all of her friends have one. From a safety standpoint, I get it. But cell phones can be incredibly useful -and also harmful if not monitored properly.
7. Most tweens already know a lot about sex You’ll be surprised to know that some tweens at age 11 know more than we knew at age 16 in the 80s-90s. With the internet, Google images, Yahoo Questions and Quora, many tweens and teens are taking it upon themselves to get answers immediately for the burning questions in their minds. (Something us Gen Z’ers didn’t really have access to back in the day.)
8. They have a pretty strong opinion on what they like – Although tweens may have some issues with identity right now, they generally know what they like. When it comes to clothes, food, brands, and music, your tween knows what she likes. You may have already met some resistance with her while shopping. Often times, the best thing to do in this scenario is to give her a budget to work with and agree on one store you’re both happy with (Target is a good place to start) and go from there. When your tween says “I want Hollister” and you say “No”, coming to a good middle ground compromise is going to be necessary to make sure everyone is happy.
9. Although they know what they like, they can change like the weather. Don’t get frustrated if she wants to be a doctor one month and a rockstar the next. Tweens and teens are always going through changes and finding out about who they are and what they want. They are at a very interesting phase of their life. Your support, patience, and understanding will be very needed at this time.
10. You might be noticing your tween is sleeping more. This is totally normal and needed. During puberty, the body will need more rest than usual because their bodies and brains are growing. Between the ages of 14 and 17, teens typically need eight to 10 hours of sleep per night.
11. Teen acne is no joke. Acne may start to happen in the later tween years. Make sure she learns the proper care of her skin and adopts a regular skin care routine and drinks plenty of water to keep acne at bay.
12. Make-up is going to happen – Most girls by age 10 are experimenting with makeup. And why wouldn’t they? It’s fun and all of the Instagram girls and teen role models wear makeup. Finding a common ground between what looks good may be a challenge, but it doesn’t have to be. Show her how a lot of her favorite celebs such as Maddie Ziegler and Kenzie Zeigler wear light, natural makeup. Read: Tween Makeup Tips
13. 90% of Tweens are online – Make sure you’re aware of what they’re watching, and what apps they may be downloading (some apps appear to be free, but they aren’t), and also be aware of a lot of dating apps!
14. Body Image – The tween years is about the time when body image or even eating disorders may emerge. Half of girls ages 8 to 10 are unhappy with their size, while 40% of fourth graders have been on a diet. More than half of girls ages 9 to 15 have exercised to lose weight.
15. Tweens want their own money – A lot of tweens these days are more resourceful than ever before. In fact, with so many young girl bosses and YouTubers out there, tweens nowadays have more opportunities than ever before to turn a little effort or a hobby into cash. Don’t be surprised if she comes to you with big ideas and plans for her future.
16. Tweens have a lot of buying influence – Marketers know that tweens make up about $40 billion per year in revenue.
17. Tweens are trend and brand-savvy – A lot of tweens already know about brands and trends before you do. Not sure? Ask her what her favorite brands are and don’t be shocked if she lists brands from Forever21 to Gucci and Supreme
18. Tweens and teens speak their own language – Not sure what “Savage”, “IRL” or “IDK” means? You may need to learn how to Decode Teen Slang. Many parents have no idea of the growing need for them to become “bilingual” when communicating with their tweens and teens. “Teen Slang,” the complex group of acronyms, innuendos, and code words is used freely among teenagers and their peers. However, what happens when parents have no clue what their teenager just said? Many slang terms are relatively harmless in and of themselves, but certain terms should instantly put up red flags for parents. Check out Urban Dictionary if you aren’t sure what something means.
19. The need to fit in is real – Most kids need to feel like they belong, and the desire to fit in somewhere is necessary. Make sure your tween is well prepared for school and knows what a good group of friends is supposed to feel like. Any circle that he/she belongs to that encourages drug use, violence, bullying or behavior that may get her into trouble is not the right group of friends.
20. Be aware of the websites tweens and teens know of (that you don’t!) – Most tweens and teens are on SnapChat. While Facebook is the most popular social media site, most tweens and teens don’t want to be on Facebook, or anywhere adults are. Be aware of “Confession Sites.” These include PostSecret, Secret, and Whisper, where users anonymously post secrets and confessions, which, of course, may or may not be true. The potential problem lies here: “Often PostSecrets are twisted or sexual in nature. While some secrets may lead to meaningful conversations about various life topics, most secrets are too complex to be read and discerned by minors.”